"Love God? Sometimes I Hate Him!"
Those are surprising words to hear from the leader of the 16th century Reformation. They are more understandable however, when you consider that Martin Luther spoke them while he was still an unregenerate Monk living in a German monastery. One has to wonder how much trouble one Augustinian Monk could get into, while living in such a place, but Luther would sometimes spend long periods of time confessing his daily sins, and punishing himself for them. He saw himself as a great sinner, and He had an accurate understanding of The Law of God, as revealed in the bible. As is the case with The Law, for all of us, no matter how hard you try to follow it, there's always one more thing you could have done better. And so it is that nobody is justified (made righteous - so as to enter heaven) by following the Law. Because of this, Luther the Monk saw God as demanding and harsh. Fortunately for Luther, he was on the verge of an epiphany of grace, that would change his view of God forever.
I couldn't help thinking of Luther's story, when I happened to run across a Catholic man in a similar dilemma yesterday. Jason Johns is a blog writer who seems to be getting the right sense of God's law, which the bible intends as a school-master to bring us to Christ. After I quote Jason below, I'll explain the missing piece that is absent in Jason's puzzle, as it was for the young Monk - Martin Luther.
Jason writes: I'm so worthless. Thursday afternoon I caught some of a program on TLN . . . The host of [the TV program] Born Again, Mark Kielar, was talking about God's Law and the reason God gave it to us. His argument went something like this: First, any violation of God's law, no matter how slight, is treated the same. To God, if we tell a little white lie, it's as bad as murdering someone. Second, since mankind is sinful, we cannot possibly not violate a commandment. Third, violating any of the 10 Commandments means we will burn in hell. Fourth, the only way not to burn in hell is to be "born again." Fifth, the only way we can be "born again" is through the gift of salvation from God. Thus, God didn't give us the 10 Commandments to follow in order to get into heaven, he gave them to us to show us how sinful we are.
Now, this is one of the arguments that is driving me from Christianity. I'm tired of being told I'm worthless; that no matter what I do, I'll burn in hell. That the only reason I might not burn is because God took pity on me. Otherwise, I'm sludge. I'm lower than sludge. I'm so pathetic and worthless that I'll burn in hell no matter what I do if not for the magnanimity of a vengeful, yet just (?) God.
I've heard this story most of my life. While it is a more Evangelical argument (the Catholic church teaching that your good works matter, somewhat, in the final analysis), I grew up surrounded by Evangelicals -- in Campus Life, in my friends, in the Evangelicalization of the Catholic Church.
The way I understand it, salvation is a gift from God, and nothing I can do will make me worthy of that gift. . . .
Whoa! Jason, you've hit the nail right on the head. You're in the same-exact boat that Martin Luther was in. Fortunately, you caught the right TV show, which is an amazing thing in itself, considering the multitude of other shows that would have preached the opposite message to you, a false-gospel to sooth your self-esteem.
The Law has done it's job Jason. It has revealed to you your sinful and helpless condition. You see, even the prophet who was likely the most holy man in all of Israel had this to say, when he encountered God: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips" -- Isaiah chapter 6
Now that you've been made aware of the bad news, you are ready to hear the Good News. You said that the Law of God is driving you away from Christianity. On the contrary, may it drive you to Christ for mercy. I pray that the Good News will not seem like foolishness to you.
Here's Charles Spurgeon's plea for men to come to Christ, and find shelter from the wrath of God:
'Breathe an earnest prayer to God, saying, 'God be merciful to me a sinner. Lord, I need to be saved. Save me. I call upon Thy name....Lord, I am guilty, I deserve Thy wrath. Lord, I cannot save myself. Lord, I want a new heart and a right spirit, but what can I do? Lord, I can do nothing, come and work in me to do of Thy good pleasure.
Thou alone hast power, I know To save a wretch like me; To whom, or whither should I go If I should run from Thee?
But I now do from my very soul, call upon Thy name. Trembling, yet believing, I cast myself wholly upon Thee, O Lord. I trust the blood and righteousness of Thy dear Son.... Lord, save me tonight, for Jesus' sake.'
If you would like to send Jason a word of encouragement, stop by his blog and post a comment for him to read.
For more of Luther's testimony, download this audio sermon entitled "Love God? Sometimes I Hate Him!" - by RC Sproul: https://store.ligonier.org/product.asp?idDept=M&idCategory=TH&idProduct=CLA01MI.09
The download will cost you two bucks, but it is hands-down, the best teaching that I've ever heard from RC Sproul. If you are in the same dilemma as Jason, or if you would just like a better understanding of God's grace, this is one you won't want to miss. If you would prefer, you can order an Audio CD from RC Sproul instead of the MP3 download, by calling 1-800-435-4343.
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